Thoughts ~Abagail~

[christoph winter rivers]

After the last few days, Winter could think of nothing better than to spend some quiet time in the Library. It was what could be the last warm Saturday of the year, and most of the students were enjoying the weather outdoors. Not Winter, he was sitting at the back row of the Library away from anyone else that might decide to entertain themselves with a book. His feet where stretched out in front of him, and he was very relaxed. A book perched on his knees, and his eyes crawled across the page only catching every other word. He was not reading, but thinking. Giving the appearance of being deep in the book was a wonderful way to get anyone coming along to leave him alone. It was a trick he used often in his days at the large school. He paused, turned a page, and flicked his wrist lightly to the side as a habit. He was not even aware of the movement himself.

There might be two others within the silent library, but he could see neither of them from his vantage point. That was the idea, after all, of being left alone, to not see anyone else. His lip twitched in what might have been a smile if he allowed such a movement on his features. Winter had little to smile about these days. An owl conversation turned into another row with a fellow Slytherin, bad news from a writer sent by morning post proved to leave a bitter taste in his mouth, and the unseen ghost of his twin lingered in his mind to make everything dull and gray around the edges. No, Winter had little to smile about these days, and this played heavy on his mind as he moved to flip another page. His eyes rose over the edge of the book as he looked toward the large library door, a small movement caught his eye and he blinked.

In his life he had loved two people, but in very different ways. He loved his twin, always together in their youth with one mind and a single thought. He loved her as dearly as he loved air, and when she was taken from him it was like all the air turning sour and then ripped from his gasping lungs. He inhaled, and thought of the other. Abigail Murray, a dear friend to his sister when she was alive, had been the one who captured his imagination at an early age. She was a beauty in pure form, and he was often hanging around the pair of girls just so he could catch her smile in his direction. She didn't know he loved her, no one knew Winter could love anyone after the... incident. However, to this day and always he loved her, and only her. She seemed able to take his breath away, much like she did in this moment...

Was that her, just then, at the library door?

[abigail murray]

The sun was shining, and a cool breeze was making for a beautiful day, but that did nothing to improve Abagail's mood. It still amazed her that after all the sorrow ,beauty still remained in the world; But if life went on, so could she. Her mother was weighing on her mind this morning, and she needed something to occupy her mind. She wiped her eyes, hoping they weren't puffy from crying, and walked toward the library, subconsciously running her fingers over her owl locket.

Her eyes were gray today instead of their natural bright blue,as if feeling that the happy color didn't match the mournful silence in her heart. As she entered the library she had eyes only for the rows of bookshelves; she smiled ruefully, thinking about the smell of parchment, the feel of the leather covers and the pages in her hands. Her mother used to read to her...

Her eyes fell upon someone in the corner of the Library, his face buried in a book. Winter. And Abigail was reminded that she wasn't the only one scarred by loss; Goodness how he looked like his sister... She had been Abigails closest friend after her mother was torn from her, leaving a hole in her heart, and she had been devastated at her death. No, her murder; Abigail would not disregard the tragedy of the crime simply because the thought hurt. She smiled a sad, comforting smile across the room at him. They talked now and then, but he didn't seem to feel the burning determination to make her loved ones proud, to honor them, to avenge them...to avenge her Mother. No, he was cold, and she couldn't blame him, for he had lost far more than she had, but still, he was someone who understood her pain.

She walked over and took the chair right next to his, smiling somberly, but willing her eyes not to look as if she had cried all morning. "Hello," she said,"Do you mind if i sit here?" and she realized just how long it had been since they had really spoken, almost a year; It was difficult, though, for a Ravenclaw and Slytherin to run into each other in the corridors. She looked into his cold blue eyes, and she recognized the masked emotion swimming behind them. Perhaps he wasn't as cold as she had thought, though the young boy who she had seen hanging around his twin was clearly gone. Like her, he had grown up too fast. "How have you been? Long time no see huh?"

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[christoph winter rivers]

As he finally caught his breath his eyes lingered as she moved through row after row of empty seats. To his surprise, which never reflected on his expression, she sat close to him, and then spoke. Of course, she didn't have reason to not talk to him. They did know each other from their shared past. It was not uncommon for someone to speak to someone else after sharing some of a history. He nodded, and tried a smile that didn't work well on his face. Winter glanced away trying to control his own nerves. The book he had not been reading slipped forgotten from his fingers and he tried to catch it. The sudden movement sent his forehead into the desk with a thud. He cursed under his breath and brought his fingers up to his new ache. That was certain to leave a mark, but he couldn't think of this just yet. He had the perfect beginning of making an utter git of himself, and needed to cover up for his sudden loss of control. He tugged his train of thought back into place, and nodded to her once again.

"Abby, sorry. I just, didn't expect company is all. Why would you bother in here on such a day, after all? I mean, you're most welcome it is a public place and all, but..." He inhaled and reigned in on his thoughts while he sat back and looked at her. "Sorry, it's only we've not spoken in a long time to suddenly have you pop up when least expected to be aback slightly. I am rambling, please, no... sit. Long time no see, no speak. I've been... well. Perhaps. And you?" He felt like the git he hoped he didn't seem to be, but couldn't take back any of his rambling words as he tried to figure out why she -of all people- would appear out of nowhere on a day such as this. He was appreciative that she had, after all his unexplored emotions for this girl had roamed freely in the back of his frozen heart for so long that he would soon need to focus on them to see where the feelings really belonged. Winter smiled to her, it was awkward but it was all he could manage with the ideas moving through his head at the moment.

He concentrated on trying to remember the last time they spoke. They weren't in classes together so he never seen her there. Their common rooms were basically as far away from each other as physically possible in the odd layout of the castle. He knew she lived in the towers but not exactly which one. Much like the Slytherin common room was a hidden location, so was the exact directions to the other common rooms. Although he he tried he could find just about anything in the school, but that wasn't exactly what he was trying to think of at the moment. He couldn't keep his memories under control, and could only think of was the last time they had laughed together. It was a month before the incident with his family that took his beloved sister from him. Abbie had even reached over and held his hand for a moment, and all Winter had wanted to do was kiss her. But, alas, the moment had passed and he knew she had always been just his sister's friend. She had no feelings for him, and today's encounter was probably out of her own sheer boredom. Winter closed his eyes a moment and rubbed his forehead.

A small bump was lifting there. A headache might follow.

[abigail murray]

Abbie smiled back at Winter, hoping that she hadn't ruined his thoughts, but she was glad to know she was worth one of his rare smiles, even if it did look forced on his somber face. Suddenly the book fell from his pale fingers and Winter lurched for it, slamming his head on the solid table with such a sound it made Abigail wince slightly. She picked up the large, leather covered book and handed it to him, asking if he was okay. Being clumsy herself, she felt his pain, even if he had never come across as the clumsy type to her.

Abigail began to feel she had interrupted him and made an indecisive movement towards the edge of her chair, "I'm sorry if I interrupted you-" she began to say, but he invited her to stay, and she smiled softly again. "Well, I've... had a rough day" she said honestly, "I dreamed of my mother and just thought reading could ease my mind." Abbie didn't typically talk so deeply to someone, but she didn't feel as if she had anything to hide from Winter, "But I've been well, i suppose if life goes on, so can I" she said, shrugging lightly and smiling a sad smile.

She wondered if he was really doing okay. From the little she heard about him now days, people said that he kept to himself, brooding or reading. She had also heard he was cold and uncaring or scary, but she didn't believe it. If anything, he seemed... broken. She looked at him, looking for resemblances to the boy who she once knew. He was definitely changed, but she didn't like him any less for it. In a way, she felt closer to him because of the sorrow they had shared.

She frowned slightly when he rubbed his forehead, "Are you sure you're okay," she asked, "I mean, I've actually done that a few times; It hurts." she added, laughing lightly. "And I'm sorry we haven't been in touch, you know, it's just Ravenclaw and Slytherin; You know, I think you would've made a great Ravenclaw; You've always been brilliant." She smiled genuinely, looking into his blue eyes, searching for his thoughts there as she did whenever talking to someone. She liked to know how they were really feeling, if they were lying or being truthful; As intrusive as it may be, she didn't have any threatening intentions and only kindness was in her eyes, it was simply a skill she had subconsciously picked up from her mother at an early age..

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[christoph winter rivers]

His eyes twinkled lightly, but he remained silent knowing that most the time she carried their short conversations. He was normally the quiet type, even before... well, the incident he can't keep out of his thoughts. He nodded in complete understanding when she mentioned her mother. She thought reading would help, but he could tell her different. He had been "reading" this same book for three years now, and couldn't tell anyone the plot, the characters, or even who wrote the damn thing. He decided not to mention that to her, since he wasn't sure how fragile she was with her life event. He was about to ask a question when she continued about his head, and then Ravenclaw.

She wasn't the first person to mention that to him. In fact, the sorting hat had almost placed him and his sister in Ravenclaw. After all, there was nothing the two of them together couldn't solve. They had been working puzzles together since they could sit up, and their shared brilliance was something that could hardly be explained by their parents -yet both claimed to have the same ability. Winter always wanted to ask the tattered old hat why they were placed in Slytherin, but now he guessed he knew why. His life had changed drastically, and so had he. No event really changes someone unless most of that change was already deep inside waiting to get out. Winter was Slytherin through and through, and it was obvious by how the death of his family had effected him. He was broken, cold; but, he almost liked it. He decided to ignore the Ravenclaw mention and get to the point of reading. It was safer ground.

"You know, reading doesn't help." His voice was soft, but not as cold as it was when he spoke to other people. After all, he loved her. "I find myself reading the same line over and over, and then mostly just hiding behind the book. Like it is a mental shield or something. Sounds crazy doesn't it? I am not entirely sure I am not crazy, after all... that... happened." He placed a careful emphasis on the word that. He never came outright and said that his family died, especially when talking to Abbie. No, she above all others knew what he was talking about. She had gone through much of the same, only he lost everything in his life. He couldn't bare to compare the two tragedies so he wouldn't say the words out loud. He offered her a small smile, and rubbed his forehead once again.

ooc: Sorry so late and short.

[abigail murray]

Abbie smiled understandingly at Chris, "You're not crazy, and I know it doesn't help much, but its better then crying in my dorm room" she replied.

His tone was soft, and almost seemed caring. He knew how she felt, perhaps better than she knew herself sometimes. "You know, I really am sorry for what happened," she started, wanting to express that he was not alone in sorrow "I know that it just leaves a gaping hole in your heart, and the world you had collapsed around you, your future stolen, your family..." She bit back tears,"But I also know that they wouldn't want you- want us- to be miserable. And though we can't really help but be miserable, we can still try to make something of ourselves. I'm going to become an auror, and when i do-" she cut herself off, feeling the tears starting to form, and not wanting to cry in front of Chris.

"Sorry," she said, blushing, "I got a little.. carried away'". Abbie hoped that she hadn't just made a fool of herself in his eyes, but at the same time she felt comfortable with him, not quite comfortable enough to cry- no not that- but by far more at home with him than most other people. .

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[christoph winter rivers]

Winter smiled to her. His lips couldn't help but fill even if it wasn't reflected in his eyes. She always had tried to make him feel better about things, that is when they were around one another. Those days have seemed to faded into the past. Winter was hardly around anyone these days, but he couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of happy that she had found him in the Library. Christoph remained silent for a few moments as he played over her words. He couldn't formulate a response without the fear of thinking he could break down in front of her. That wasn't what he wanted to do, so he sat back and looked at her.

"Why would you cry in your dorm room?" He didn't know how to answer to her kind words about his pain and sadness. Winter couldn't help himself, and he moved closer and place a soft hand on her shoulder. It was the first contact between the two in a long time, and the single touch felt so right to him that his heart almost lurched forward. Yet, he was used to keeping it cold encased in ice, so he only rubbed her shoulder once with a light touch before sitting back to face her and watch her expression. He loved her, there was no doubt. Maybe he always loved her, he didn't know for sure. But, right now it wasn't about him and his emotions. It was about what was making her sad. He wanted to kill anything that mad her sad.

Several students passed them, not bothering to even look in their direction. Winter eyed them, ready to pounce if the wrong word was spoken. He felt like a tense ball coiled up and ready to strike at anyone offering to harm Abbie. He was, after all, a snake and they were protective of their own. Was he protective of her, the answer could only be yes. Yes, he was. It occurred to him then that she mentioned wanting to be an auror. He had never known that about her and it was another sign that he didn't know as much as he remembered about this girl he loved. He would bring that up later, and maybe talk to her about the future. A future he wasn't sure he was going to be a part of, but it might be interesting to pick her brain and see where she was in life.

Wow, that sounded silly even in his own head.

[abigail murray]

The smile he smiled at her was like a faded memory, and Abigail returned a smile sincerely. It reminded her of the good old days, before sorrow had made strangers of them. Then she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder, and she was surprised how much of a comfort the touch was. Many said that he was cold, bitter, uncaring, but in that moment Abbie realized how untrue those things were. He was only broken, sad, but that only meant he was human. That he cared enough to feel such pain.

"It just becomes too much sometime, the longing for things stolen from you." she answered, looking down at the locket. Some might think she was being unclear, but she knew Christoph would understand what she meant. Abigail looked up into his eyes, and she saw pain and concern behind them. Without thinking, she scooped up his cold hand in hers, wanting him to be comforted as she had been.

Abigail hated to see anyone in pain, but with Winter it was different. It was hard to explain, the way she felt. It was more than just a desire to comfort, she wanted to make all the coldness and sorrow and pain just go away. To give him back his family, and his happiness. But Abbie knew there was nothing she could do to change what had happened to him, the same way she had come to except that there was nothing to change what had happened to her.

They were much the same, Abigail and Christoph, but also much different. Abbie had been able accept and cope with her pain, to turn it into determination in a way. Winter still seemed to be in full out mourning, and Abigail almost felt guilty that she was able to enjoy herself again, to be optimistic through the pain, while Winter was so destroyed from it.

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[christoph winter rivers]

He tried to clear his mind in desperation to find something else to say. He didn't know for sure what to add to the conversation and his mind was beginning to tug at him. If they stopped talking, would they not see each other again for another long stretch of time? Winter couldn't have that, not now nor ever. All he wanted to do was talk to her, be around her, hide his sorrow in her. He looked at her again, and shifted in his seat. What could he say to keep the chain of words flowing? Then his thoughts rested on a single parchment he had seen posted in the Slytherin common room only that morning. He wasn't sure if it would work, or how she might respond but his mouth opened and he asked his question.

"Would you like to go to a dance with me?" He had no idea why he had asked, other than the obvious. And when the words flew from his mouth he could only blink and look away almost as if he was an embarrassed younger student. He hadn't meant to just blurt it out, and ask in the way he did. Winter almost giggled, and then had to pause to reel himself in. What the hell was wrong with him right now? Why was he acting like such a silly child? Of course he already knew the answer, he loved this girl. But never had he lost control of himself like he had in asking her out in such a casual manor. He turned to sit facing her, and shook his head. Before she could respond he continued.

"Listen, what I mean is," What did he mean? Did he even know where this was going, or what he might say next? No. Winter was completely winging it while trying to maintain some sort of emotional stability. It would be interesting to see if it would actually work. "There was a notice posted in my common room this morning, regarding a dance or ball or something coming up. I am not positive the details because I didn't actually read it all. But, I thought it would be a wonderful distraction for the both of us if we went together. Just lose everything in one night where the whole world could fade away, and it would only be the two of us alone." He thought he did well given the circumstances, then a single thought struck him. What if she was with someone? He added, "That is, if you're not already going with someone else?"

Why did he feel so foolish?

[abigail murray]

Abigail had heard about the ball, a masquerade, and she hadn't given much thought to who she would like to go with; sure, she had found the prospect exciting, but had figured she would just go with some friends due to the fact she didn't obsess over boys like most other girls at Hogwarts, so she was taken aback when Christoph invited her to go with him.

Abigail looked up at Winter, her pale skin colored slightly with pink, and smiled. She had never seen him that way before; he had always just been her friends brother, or as of late that sad boy she used to know, but now as Abbie looked up into his face she realized how handsome he really was. How had she not noticed before?

"There was a notice posted in my common room this morning, regarding a dance or ball or something coming up. I am not positive the details because I didn't actually read it all. But, I thought it would be a wonderful distraction for the both of us if we went together. Just lose everything in one night where the whole world could fade away, and it would only be the two of us alone."

She looked up as he explained himself, and he seemed almost nervous. Could Christoph Rivers really be flustered over a girl? Over her? If so, he kept his composure well. The idea of going with him was surprisingly rather appealing to her, and she felt excitement surge through her. She twisted her hair shyly, and noticed that it had turned a pinkish burgundy. She blushed even more hoping he didn't know her appearance often reflected her mood. "No, i'm not going with anyone," she replied softly, enthusiasm laced into her tone, "And I would love to be your date".

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[christoph winter rivers]

Date? Had she really just called it a date? After all his years of bitterness toward almost anything he could rebel against, one small sentence had turned out to be enough to actually baffle him. Date. Well, he had asked her to go to this school function, and if he was going to go with anyone it would have to be with Abbie. Not to mention the little known fact that he was thoroughly in love with her, although he had told not a single soul in all his life. Winter found himself fiddling with his sister's small ring always placed firmly on his pinky finger. He wanted to smile at it, to mentally tell his beloved sister that everything would be alright, he would be alright, but the truth was he didn't know. He wasn't sure if he would be alright, or if he could even act normal in a dating situation. He had almost expected her to laugh and say no. Hell, he hadn't actually thought to ask her in the first place. This was a shock to him, but at the same time it was the first time he felt good about something in such a long time. Good was not really the word, elated was closer to the mark.

Still, this didn't reflect on his expression. Instead he nodded, and watched his fingers play with his sister's ring. "Well then," he whispered. "Good. Then that's settled. Should I walk you to the Great Hall, or do you want to meet there? If I am not mistaken we're suppose to wear masks or something. We could always try to find each other once we are there. Could be fun." He was still making plans for the date. How did they even get to this point in conversation? How had he asked her in the first place? He was unsure of those answers, but he was glad things had come to this. Obviously she would have no clue how he felt, how could anyone? At the same time, it was the perfect chance to finally tell her. Let her know that all these years she was the single person he had feelings for, that could crack the ice around his chest. He doubted she would believe him, considering the way he acted to others. In the same vein, he hadn't been around her so maybe she doesn't know a thing about how he has acted -treated- other people? Winter didn't know, and he wasn't going to ask. Now was not the time for that conversation.

The thing that would strike him later would be how easily she answered. The fact that they were from different houses, and Abbie didn't even stutter when she said yes. Things like that never seemed to matter to her in their past, after all she knew his sister well. Still, tensions these days were an odd thing. He would question that later when he was alone thinking about what had happened through the day. Right now all he could do was look over at her, and smile softly. She was beautiful, and he felt himself tingle at the thought of holding her, dancing with her, spending a big part of the night with her. He did feel like a younger man, perhaps going on a first date once again. This was much like what it would be, he hadn't had contact with someone in... He let the thought fade. It had been too long, and in a way this date could be the only thing to save him from a life alone. A life without the thought of revenge and anger holding him on one path. Could she salvage the pieces of his broken heart? Was he over-thinking the whole situation? Winter had so many questions, and no answers in sight.

Oh hell, what was he going to wear?

[abigail murray]

Abigail watched as Winter nodded and played with the ring on his finger, his handsome eyes fixed on the object. Perhaps it was to him what her locket was to her; She realized her hand was closed around it at the moment as if she were holding her mother close in this wonderful moment. ""Well then," he continued softly. "Good. Then that's settled. Should I walk you to the Great Hall, or do you want to meet there? If I am not mistaken we're suppose to wear masks or something. We could always try to find each other once we are there. Could be fun."

Unlike the last, Abigail had to think about this question; She would love to walk with him to the great hall, but the idea of finding each other also sounded tempting. With her ability she could go all out for the masquerade, and perhaps bring out his sense of fun- he had to have one, everyone did- in trying to find her. She looked up at him to find Christoph smiling softly at her, and she blushed again. "Hmmm" she said, "As much as I would love you to escort me, lets try to find each other for the fun of it. It will be like an adventure" she said lightly, giving a small giggle.

Normally she would be humiliated at the fact she had said 'adventure', and been worried for embarrassing herself, and later when thinking over this conversation she would, at the moment Abigail was simply too happy to care.After all, her excitement was mounting as they spoke. She was already planning her outfit in her head, not to mention spending the night with Winter.

Abigail had never expected to be asked, yet alone by Christoph; She had no idea he even knew she still existed, and there were so many beautiful Slytherin girls a guy like him could get, and they can't all be as unpleasant as the rumors say- After all, the rumors said Christoph was cold and uncaring, but Abbie knew that those were far from the truth, she could see it in his warm smile- so the fact that he had asked her meant a lot to Abigail. She was flattered.

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[christoph winter rivers]

His smile was genuine. Real. The first real smile he had felt since a time he couldn't remember. She said yes, she even giggled. His heart began beating again and it was almost like he could feel the ice beginning to crack, melt away in his chest. Still, he had to be careful. He couldn't handle a hurt at this point in his life. Especially when it came to her, the girl he wanted to spend time with above all others. He felt like there was more he should say, but the words were slow to his lips. He didn't want to ruin the moment by babbling on when he wasn't sure what he could say next. Anyway, it was getting late and he needed to get going soon.

He reached over and touched her shoulder again, since he had slid closer to her during their odd conversation. "I'll send you an owl tonight, if you like. We can talk some more. As it is, I need to go back to the common room and attend to some homework I've ignored. Until then," He moved forward in his seat and placed a soft kiss on her right cheek. He had done nothing of the sort since he placed a kiss on his sister years ago. This time it was a warm kiss, his fingers touching her shoulder lightly as he stood up and gathered his things. Winter looked down at her as he held his book.

He smiled and nodded to her. His eyes moved to look into hers and he felt the soft blossom bloom in his chest. If anyone could save him, it would be Abbie. He knew this beyond a shadow of a doubt. Winter needed to make their first date perfect, and an idea began to form in his thoughts. Before he left he leaned down and whispered to her, "By the way, you look beautiful today. Thought you might want to know." As the whisper faded so did Winter down the small aisle to turn the corner around the book stacks. If anyone had noticed they would have seen the light spring in his step.

ooc: I will post an owl for them to keep our conversation going. :)