A Walk ((Sirius))

[Zara Girard]

The chilly wind swept across the grounds, causing some of the thin trees to bend dangerously close to breaking, and messing up Zara Girard's hair. Not that she minded. She was aware of the fate of her dark curls when she had stepped outside just a few moments ago.

Her mind went to Sirius Black, and her heart did a tiny leap. She had come here to meet him before curfew, like she always does. She usually met him around the castle at least once a day since the day at Hogsmeade, and the past week had been nothing short of wonderful. She knew she had had always liked Sirius as a friend, and maybe something more since he was hands-down one of the most good-looking boys in Hogwarts. But she never knew she liked this this much. She loved spending time with him, and he had a sense of humour that made Zara laugh all the time. She walked on, patiently waiting for him to join her.

As she continued walking, she couldn't help but think about her still unanswered owl that she had sent to her father a week ago. She made sure to sent him owls quite frequently, to make sure he's fine. But the replying owls are either delayed, or they never come. Zara sighed. She knew how busy her father was. It wasn't easy, juggling between the roles of an Auror, and a single father of a teenage girl. But was it really that hard to write up a short reply and send it to her? It would at least ease her mind, and she could be at peace for some time, knowing that her father was fine.

She neared the very familiar oak tree, the one that she had sat under since the start of her first year at Hogwarts, and plopped down on her yet another favourite spot. She leaned back on her hands, looking up at the moonlit sky. How beautiful. Now, if only Sirius would hurry up and join her.

[sirius black]

It was late night, or early morning, and Sirius was laying awake in his bed. Zara was stuck on his mind; She was so beautiful, had such a shining personality, and he grinned at the mere thought of her. How has he been lucky enough to end up with someone like her? Any guy would jump at the chance to go out with Zara- And what if she chose them instead? His stomach twisted, this was not the first time the though had come to him. Sirius had never allowed himself to be close, vulnerable, to a girl. It was never really worth it to him, but Zara was different.

He picked up the map that he had been distracting himself with earlier, hoping to drive the thoughts from his mind, and skimmed it with his eyes. Filch in the dungeons, Mrs. Norris second floor- Zara. e did a double take, not expecting to see her anywhere but the dorms, but there was her name, in the astronomy tower. And she wasn't alone. Christoph Winters' name was printed next to hers, as if the were standing or sitting close to each other. Sirius had seen Chriss, heard of him, felt bad for the poor bloke, but now all he felt was anger. He had been described by people as cold and brooding, but very handsome. And a Slytherin. Sirius took a deep breath; he was just jealous. He trusted Zara... Didn't he?

The next day, after sunset, Sirius' happiness as he walked towards Zara at their meeting spot was clouded by the thought of her and Chriss in the astronomy tower. Earlier he had wanted nothing more to stalk up there and confront them, but now that he had slept on it, he had decided not to do anything stupid or offend her. It was her choice who her friends were, and he didn't want to lose her over fear of losing her. He smiled and sat down next to Zara, putting his arm around her shoulders lovingly. He didn't want this meeting, that he had been looking forward to since the last one, to be ruined by stupid, jealous notions. "Hey Zara, how are you today?" he asked lightly. He always loved hearing about her day, just the sound of her voice made him happier than he had been in a long time. How could he ever have thought she would leave him? It just couldn't happen- It just couldn't.

[Zara Girard]

Zara was getting sleepier by the minute. Staring at the night sky idly had that effect on her. Where was he? She chuckled to herself, knowing that Sirius wasn't exactly well-known for his punctuality.

She was still trying not to fall asleep, when she felt a warm arm wrapping itself around her shoulders, and turned around to see Sirius. She smiled happily, moving closer to snuggle comfortably against him. "Hey handsome," she greeted him, happy to have finally met him for that day. "My day? It was boring as usual," she sighed. "I had Transfiguration today. You can't really expect me to have a good day when I have that, do you?" she chuckled.

She noticed that Sirius was not his usual self. Something seemed to be bothering him. Zara could be pretty observant when it came to someone she cared for deeply, despite her hyper attitude. "Hey, you alright?" she asked him.

[sirius black]

Sirius smiled at Zara as she greeted him, his fears melting away with her loving tone. His smile turned to a grin while she complained about Transfiguration, "Would you like help with anything?" He asked cheerfully, wanting to make sure that she knew he was always here to help. Sirius actually enjoyed their late night study sessions, and was almost hoping she would agree so he could spend even more time with her.

His face fell slightly when she asked him what was wrong, but he regained his cheery composure quickly. Should he tell her? The last thing he wanted was to make Zara feel like he was lying to her, but he also didn't want to drag her into his jealousy, or make her feel accused either. He wouldn't, couldn't, lose her over this. But what if there really was something going on between Zara, his Zara, and Chriss?

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" he asked with another smile. No, he decided, he would not bother her with it without a real reason to. Sirius saw a group of girls, mostly Gryffindor, smile at him out of the corner of his eye, and grinned and shook his head with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. Did those giggling girls have nothing better to do than stare at him? Why couldn't they be real and funny and sweet like Zara?

[Zara Girard]

((OOC: Sorry for my previous post, it was so short =/ ))

Zara chuckled when he offered his help. She had been getting his help for Transfiguration for the past few days, since he did really well in that subject, and Zara not so much. He had been her saviour, honestly. "I wish I could ask you to just attend the lessons and do all of the assignments for me, but I can't," she gave him a sheepish grin. "McGonagall did not give any assignments today, thank Merlin for her kindness that blooms once in a blue moon. So it's alright. But thanks for the offer," she smiled, giving him a quick peck on his lip.

She saw the slight change in his face when she asked him if he was alright, and he could still tell her he was fine. She sighed. "Oh come on, Sirius. Give me some credit. I can be observant too. You're not your usual self. Tell me, what's wrong?" she asked him again. "Is it your family?" she guessed, her voice suddenly soft.

And then, out of the corner of her eyes, she saw a bunch of Gryffindor girls probably a couple of years below them giggle and wave and Sirius, and she clenched her jaw. One of the girls, who caught Zara's cold stare, immediately scurried away, pulling her friends along. "Bloody annoying brats..." she mumbled under her breath, and turned around, only to see Sirius grinning. She narrowed her eyes. "What, it's nice being ogled at as usual?" she asked him, a little more annoyed now.

Zara was many things, but she wasn't known to be particularly generous. Of course, she wasn't exactly selfish. She knew how to share her belongings when a person is in need, she'd donate some money when she can, but she could be rather possesive. She knew a lot of girls in the school like Sirius, but that didn't mean they could ogle at him when he was with her, and neither could Sirius actually encourage them.

[sirius black]

Sirius smiled and shook his head softly as she asked if it was is family. She did know him well, and this was one of the rare times she was wrong. "No, not anymore than usual" he replied grinning wryly. He couldn't imagine he had ever worried about sharing his past with her; He knew now that she loved him no matter what.

That sweet thought was about to be shattered. He was about to agree as she called the gawking girls bloody annoying when suddenly she turned her annoyance towards him. He felt stung, and he stared at her in disbelief. As usual? She talked to him as if he asked for the stupid way they acted; As if he were some attention seeking prat! He suddenly felt anger boil up inside of him. Who was Zara to be jealous anyway!? How could she even think he would chose one of them, chose anybody, over her? He wasn't the one sneaking out to the astronomy tower to meet a Slytherin! But he didn't jump to conclusions, yet one group of stupid girls acting like just that and he was the bad guy!

Sirius' eyes narrowed, "Me?" he asked, suddenly on the defensive "I'm not the one sneaking up to the astronomy tower in the dead of night! And to meet other guys" his temper was mounting "And Slytherins at that! What the Hell Zara?" He had stood up at that point, not wanting to feel her loving warmth next to him at that terrible moment of betrayl. He looked away, shaking.

[Zara Girard]

Zara could see the disbelief and hurt on his face within a second, and felt horrible. She was just about to apologise when she heard him. Talking about her and a Slytherin at the Astronomy Tower...Christoph? She felt herself pale. No one supposed to know about that. No one. Well, of course she was planning to let Sirius know about it some time, to break it slowly to him, knowing the hatred he had for that house.

But wait a minute...exactly how did Sirius find out about their secret meeting? And his tone of voice, it was as if he was accusing her. Accusing her for cheating on him. Her cheeks, which were pale just a moment ago, turned red as her anger rose. "What are you trying to imply here, Sirius? That I was cheating on you?" she asked him in a dangerously low voice as she got up. "I wasn't trying to say that you were cheating. I was just saying that you're encouraging them. What, years of mastering the art of flirting and you still don't know any sort of smile or grin leads the girl to think you like the attention they're giving you?" she snapped, and clenched her jaw to control herself.

"How did you know about the meeting between Christoph and myself? Which, let me clarify with you, was FAR from romantic. I wanted to explain to you about him soon, but of course, you jumped into conclusion. You, out of all people, shouldn't be so judgemental. I guess I was wrong," she said through gritted teeth, crossing her arms as she waited for an explanation. Her anger levels seemed to be only increasing.

[sirius black]

Sirius felt his face flush as she asked of his implications, but remained silent, jaw clenched. Had that been what he was implying? He wasn't sure himself, but he did know that she hadn't been truthful with him. A part of him wanted to take it all back, and his heart twisted at the anger on her face, but his own anger was too high, his blood boiling at the unfairness of it all. "Oh, I'm sorry, it seems the master apparently still needs to learn a thing or too about showing his disbelief in annoying girls stupidity, I'll try to keep my incredulity to myself next time! " sarcasm was laced into his tone, and his voice was rising now " And I like their attention better than the hateful kind your giving me at the moment!" he added, though he didn't mean it one bit.

His heart dropped when she asked how he knew of her meetings, and as she assured him oh so kindly that his conclusion was wrong. Did he even believe her? Of course he did, but still, she had been sneaking out to meet him, and she had had plenty of chances to explain herself. "That doesn't matter! What does is that you have been sneaking out to meet him, have had plenty of chances to assure me of your oh so pure intentions, yet jump on me because a couple of girls goggled at me; and the only thing I did wrong was show emotion! Not interest or approval, just emotion!" he was feeling sick, his stomach churning, and didn't want to make things any worse; he didn't even want to be there at all. He picked up his school bag and stalked away, teeth clenched.

[Zara Girard]

"Then why don't you go to them, then?! If you like their attention so, bloody, much?!" she was shouting by then, unable to control her temper anymore. She was rather well-known for her anger management issues - Sirius should know that. And yet he was the one causing her to lose her patience right then, with his hurtful words.

She gritted her teeth when he kept coming back to the fact that she was secretly meeting Christoph. Yes, she was at fault, but only partially. How could she just throw the idea of her closest friend being a Slytherin on him? He would never understand, Zara knew how much he loathed that house thanks to his family. "What plenty of chances? Look at me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't have made a huge issue out of this if I had told you this earlier! And I'm not the only one involved in this, Christoph has a say too. How was I supposed to skip up to you one day and tell you all about it? 'Hey Sirius, what a nice day, and by the way, Christoph and I have been best friends since we were 7'? You might not have any tact, Sirius, but I do!" she exclaimed, her cheeks still turning red.

And then the next thing she knew, Sirius Black was walking away from her, not willing to deal with this. "Yes, this is VERY MATURE, SIRIUS! Walking away from the problem! What are you, five?!" she yelled after him, before plopping down on the ground, panting hard. Being as stubborn as she was, she refused to let the furious tears pricking at her eyes fall.

Who was Sirius Black to make her cry anyway? She cursed her bad luck for being caught by him for sneaking up to meet Christoph. But she could never bring herself to apologize, because she wasn't doing anything wrong. If Sirius wanted to believe that she'd cheat on him, then she wasn't going to bother correcting him. If he did believe that, he wasn't worth her attention. She'd show him she was fine. She knew how to mask her anguish, her problems. She's been doing that for years.

[sirius black]

Sirius knew that Zara was right, but that did nothing but flare his anger. Why had he allowed this to happen; Why could he not keep his stupid temper under control? He knew in that moment that he had ruined everything. His heart fell into his stomach at the thought of losing Zara; not only their romance, but their friendship. He wanted to make it all un-happen, but what could he do now? Perhaps he could just turn around- apologize. No. He had done nothing wrong, he told himself. But still...

He almost turned as he heard Zara's voice float after him, and her words pierced his heart. He felt tears budding, and angrily denied them. Why had he opened himself up to such pain? He was just to edge of the building, out of Zara's view. Sirius turned and threw his fist at the brick wall with a sickening sound, and then dropped it to his side, shaking, but still not allowing tears. People were staring now, and he felt the urge to scream at them, but let out a exasperated sigh instead and sunk to the ground, back against the brick wall.

His knuckles were bleeding, but Sirius didn't care, he didn't even feel them through the pain in his chest. He had never felt this hurt. Not when he was taunted by his cousins, or blasted away by his mother, because he had never cared for their love; He valued Zara's so much, yet he just threw it away. It wasn't his fault. He had done nothing wrong. He told himself those things, but even he knew it wasn't true.

[Zara Girard]

Zara didn't know how long she sat there by the lake, her thoughts flooded my how she had messed the whole thing up. It had just been a couple of weeks, and she had been so happy. As if life was perfect. But of course, it wasn't, and she knew that. But she never knew it everything would end like this.

She didn't know when she was planning to break the whole thing about Chris to Sirius, she didn't know if she was even planning to do that. Things had been going so good that she hadn't wanted to jeopardize anything. But Sirius had somehow managed to find out, and all hell broke loose. She still hadn't figured out just how in the ruddy world he found out, though. What, he had super-stalker powers now?

But even more than that curiosity, the fact that Sirius had actually suspected her of cheating on him with Chris hurt her. Had he forgotten who was the player between the two of them? Who had had countless snog-partners over the years? Somehow, she had gotten the blame. Bloody fantastic.

The sky grew even darker, and she knew it was almost curfew already. Sighing, she got up and started walking back into the castle, only to see Sirius Black at a corner, holding his bleeding knuckles, looking to be a wreck. She winced at the sight, almost breaking into a run towwards him and dragging him to the Hospital WIng to get his hand checked. But her temper and stubborness stopped from even moving an inch. Instead, she walked on, but as soon as she turned the corner, grabbed a third year Hufflepuff who came across her, and asked her to bring Sirius Black to the hospital wing. "Tell him Professor McGonagall wants to see him, that should get him following you," she suggested, pushing the innocent girl towards Sirius before rushing up to the dorm and falling into her bed. She hoped Sirius listened to the girl, who seemed to be giddy at the fact that she could even talk to famous Sirius Black.

Zara buried her face into the pillow, still stubborn enough to hold her tears back, and fell into a fitful sleep.

[sirius black]

What Am I Supposed To Do

[/color][/font]
When The Best Part Of Me Was Always You?[/color][/font]

Sirius didn't look up as Zara passed, but was fully aware of her passing him, her beauty simply pain now. He tried to hide his bleeding knuckles, but did a poor job. He watched as she walked away, a longing to run after her filling him; Why had he done this to himself? To her? Not his fault.

A little Hufflepuff appeared timidly from around the corner, and he didn't pay any attention to the little girl until she spoke directly to him, "S-Sirius Black?" she asked, and he exhaled submissively. "Yes?" he hated the way she looked at him as if he were the minister of magic himself, especially now when he wanted nothing more than to disappear. " You need to.. I mean, Professor McGonagall wants to see you." Sirius shook his head in exasperation at her stuttered request. What had he done now? How could things get any worse?


He stalked down the corridor towards his head of houses office, the girl trotting beside him. "I know the way." he told her dismissively, but the girl just looked at him wide eyes. "What is it?" He asked irritably. "Well... you needa go to the hospital wing," she said timidly, pointing to his bleeding hand, "The Professor doesn't need you- Im sorry!" She yelped as she caught his expression, "The girl just said..." She trailed off, and when Sirius didn't reply the girl scampered off towards the kitchens. Zara. Even after what he said? For the first time that day, a tear fell. He wiped it angrily away and headed for the hospital wing. [/size]

What Am I Supposed To Say[/color][/font]
When I'm All Choked Up And Your Okay?[/color][/font][/center]

[Zara Girard]

Zara knew she looked horrible. She felt horrible. She hadn't slept well that night, and when it was time to wake up, the usually grumpy Zara who was never a morning person woke up immediately and headed to the shared bathroom of the dorm. A little unusual, but Zara didn't care.

When she was sure she didn't look like a cavewoman, she changed into her robes and walked out of her dorm. All the while, her eyes never wandered from the floor. She was either looking down or looking ahead. She didn't want to see Sirius, didn't want to change her mind, didn't want to do anything. She was determined to stay calm and composed. If he could suspect her, accuse her of cheating, then she didn't want to have anything to do with him.

Upon reaching Great Hall, she sat down beside her usual group of friends, and began eating, trying her best to act cheerful. She'd show him she was fine.

[sirius black]

What Am I Supposed To Do

[/color][/font]
When The Best Part Of Me Was Always You?[/color][/font]

Sirius looked a mess. His knuckles were bruised, he had stormed out of the hospital wing before the nurse could completely fix him, he had dark bags under his eyes from the sleepless night previous, and his eyes had a miserable, vacant look in them, Compared to the happiness that had lit up his features just yesterday, he looked like misery in human form. He needed to pull himself together.

He washed up, fixed his unruly hair and smoothed his robes; After looking in the mirror and deeming himself acceptable, he headed down to the Great Hall avoiding conversation and eye contact with everyone. Even the smallest bit of unwanted conversation could break his mask of indifference.

As Sirius entered the Hall his eyes fell upon Zara. She looked just fine, happy even, and his heart constricted at the thought. He couldn't help but long for some kind of remorse; had he meant anything to her at all? He had thought so. He joined his buddies at the opposite end of the Gryffindor table, grinning at them as he sat down. "Wow, that may have set a record for longest relationship" he said lightly, trying to keep pain from seeping into his tone. From afar he was sure that he seemed undaunted, but his friends, those who really knew him, would know he was torn up about it.

How could he have let this fall apart? He had been happy, happier than he had been in a long time, and now he had fallen so hard. Sirius stole a glance at his smiling ex-girlfriend- No, it felt too wrong to call her that- at Zara. Was she really so indifferent, or was she simply hiding it? How vain was he to assume she was as fragile as he had turned out to be? What was to miss about jealous, outcasted, arrogant Sirius Black? [/size]

What Am I Supposed To Say[/color][/font]
When I'm All Choked Up And Your Okay?[/color][/font][/center]

[Zara Girard]

And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt somethin' die

Zara could see, out of the corner of her eyes, Sirius sauntering into the hall. Well, not exactly saunter, more like shuffle. The usual energy in his persona seemed to be missing, his smile didn't seem right, his knuckles still seemed swollen (he was just too stubborn for his own good, wasn't he!) and he looked....miserable. She felt her heart sink a little lower, knowing she had caused it.

Well, he deserved it for accusing her.

He was sitting quite some distance from her, almost at the end of the table, but Zara could still pick up on a few words here and there. That was how she heard the words that destroyed her hope of ever working this relationship out with him. "Wow, that may have set a record for longest relationship".

She bit her lip hard, and her throat contricted to a point where she couldn't swallow the porridge in front of her anymore. She pushed the stillfull bowl away, forcing a smile on her face with much difficulty. Well, that was it, then. It was over between the two of them. Sirius had announced it to the world. How nice of him to save her the trouble.

Clenching her jaw, she informed her friends that she'd meet them in class since she needed to go to the lavatories, and got up before swiftly walking past Sirius, out of the Great Hall. She broke into a run as soon as she turned a corner, and bolted up the stairs, straight to Moaning Murtle's bathroom. No one ever came here. She could be left alone here. Ignoring the annoying ghost's snigger, she threw open a cubicle's door and sat on the unused toilet. Taking a deep and shaky breath, she let the tears fall. She wasn't sobbing and screaming, no. But the tears were refusing to stop. What the hell happened to the normality of her life?!